10 Best Things to Avoid during Times of Stress

Stress is something that is created in your mind. Stress is not created in your body – although it will definitely manifest itself there if not shut down.

Stress is such a mind game. It’s something that’s brought about by the desire for what others have, what you think you need, worry for the future and overthinking the past.

Stress can totally rule your life and take all the fun out of it – even for those who are seeking to live life with the end goal being pleasure.

Here are the 10 best things to know about Stress and how to avoid them

•  Overthinking things. Overthinking decisions to make and the ones you’ve already made. Overthinking what to wear, whether you will fail or succeed, whether you are good enough and if people will like you. Overthinking is the bane of our existence and the one that keeps you up at night. It stops you from being aware of what is already happening and therefore prevents you from taking the steps to change the situation you want to change.
• Worry: Worry is overthinking on problems that usually don’t even exist. Worry is a state of mind that goes through the “what if” scenario so many times that practically everything that could go wrong already has. Worry takes you away from the possibilities that are actually happening right now – good and bad – and being grounded and real just doesn’t happen.
• Caring about what others think is a big issue in these days of media and social media. Everybody is in a perpetual state of beauty, thinness, a state of perfection in life and appearance. Several social media personalities are famous for being “real” showing what they really look like without trick photography and editing…..and it makes no difference. It just proves that even if you look worn out, tired and lumpy then it’s possible to also be perfect with a bit of work. That even if the homefront is a nightmare in reality you can make a “happy families” shot and all will be good…..how often does that happen!!  Caring about what others think is denying how you think of yourself and your situation. It denies the reality that you are living in whether it be pain, unhappiness or some other truth. Caring what others think distorts your truth.
• Envisioning a rosy future is a fun thing to do and it’s been all the rage since the Secret was first unleashed onto the world. What is it about us humans that we have to envision things that we want. Pretending an abundance of money, a new car, a million dollar mansion, the perfect job/wife/husband/child. It’s much easier and far more pleasant to take things into your own hands – get a grip on your reality and work with what you have and do what you can. No credit required, no lying by pronouncing to all that everything is perfect, no despair at not being good enough because you can now own where you are, and move on from there holding your head up. The problem I have with supplanting your reality with a perfect scenario (i.e. saying that you have lots of money coming in when that’s just not true) is that it brings the reality and despair of your situation to the forefront and then buries it – unsolved in real terms – in a pretend altered fabrication. By repeating the new desire you are also repeating the need for it – therefore cementing the sense of lack onto the subconscious. It’s a tricky thing and one to be aware of.

• This is an age of excellence. It’s no longer any good to be happy at what you are doing – you must be the best at it. In some sort of niche if possible – specializing in something amazing that no-one has ever thought of before. Being special is no longer a unique quality. Everyone is now special, perfect, the best and most amazing. The stress caused by constantly striving to succeed is enormous. To feel that competing with the big guys is an ultimate outcome removes the simple enjoyments you were born to enjoy. The belief that everything you desire is spinning around in the eternal universe just waiting for you to call on it – is not something to wait for. Others may disagree but being real is far more fun and gives a sense of real achievement instead of being in a state of eternal confusion wondering how the hell something good ever did come your way and trying to replicate that “thing” whatever it was. Enjoy your mediocrity – we are all mediocre and imperfect – even those who are special. It’s where reality lies and peace begins. To specialize in one area leaves a lot of other areas lacking.
• There will always be someone to blame for why you are stressed. Whether it’s the partner, ex partner, boss, job, there’s always something or someone to criticize. Think about it – does blaming make it better? Does blaming empower you? Does blaming make the pain go away or does it add more pain. Accept that shit happens, ground yourself in your own reality and take a breath. There’s always a way to move on and it takes courage to accept where you are now. Blaming is malignant and painful.
• What are you focussing on to achieve your happiness? Is your aim to have as much leisure as you can – to live a Richard Branson type of life? There could be a problem with that – life is short – chances are you weren’t born into millions or have had the flukey situations that will lead to amazing leisure and “ultimate freedom”. Leisure is in the simple things – find what they are for you, and share them with friends.
• Material success is another drama that has driven an entirely new market towards minimalism! People have so much stuff that is not allowing movement or happiness. I’m not saying that you need nothing – but constantly upgrading, buying only new stuff, expanding your home to fit in your new things isn’t a sign of a stressless life. Recalibrate your belongings and make sure they are truly yours and you aren’t owned by them.
• Are you one of those people who are always positive? I have met many people in my practice who would rather be cold or put themselves through pain as opposed to simply asking for a blanket or resting a painful limb. These are the people who will say “it’s nothing I can’t bear” as if they had to bear it. You don’t have to. Chances are that if you are reading this you have the means to keep warm or cool, take painkillers if needed and rest if you are sick. Putting yourself into a state of stress by refusing comfort is doing you no favours – just stressing you more. I’m not saying that you should be a moaning Minnie – that’s just unpleasant. But if in reality life is crap, marriage is unbearable, kids are horrible and your job is undeniably revolting – it’s ok to not say that any of these things are great. It’s ok to mention that there are times when life is shit and let’s have a coffee and a laugh instead – and then set some real steps in place to deal with the reality at hand.

• The fear of pain holds many people back. The pain can be physical, a new situation, a new job, a relationship, exercise – anything that will take you out of your comfort zone. That place where you know the rules, know your limitations, and feel safe and secure is your comfort zone. To wander outside of it and try out new activities, meet new people, and stretch your physical boundaries is quite scary. Unless it’s life-threatening there’s no reason not to try it. I’ve seen this so many times in my practice where people are too scared to test out their newfound flexibility, walk in a manner that eases their pain, change life situations that are hindering their well-being – and when they do? Amazing results. Leaving the cozy comfort zone, facing your fears, and taking advantage of your skills, abilities, and strengths is a huge step in relieving stress. It sounds contradictory but – try it and see what happens.

And if stress is something that’s really knocking you around and getting a grip on it seems just too difficult right now – but you feel as if you just need a break – call me – Bowen Therapy is the best Stress-Breaker I’ve ever seen.

The relaxation experienced during Bowen is not a conscious effort. It’s an elemental state that is felt throughout the body and mind. I’ve done Remedial Massage using essential oils for many years and nothing compares to the relaxation experienced during Bowen Therapy sessions.

No oils, no mess, painless, and leaving with a sense of peace and inborn relief that can last for days or weeks.